Weekly Newsletters and Special Announcements

August 12, 2022 | T"u b'Av 5782 |  Parashat Vaetchanan

Dear Friends, 

Today is T"u b'Av - the 15th of Av, a day celebrated during the 2nd Temple period with rituals that encouraged equality and fewer barriers to finding true love. It was on T"u b'Av in 2016 that The Jewish Collaborative hosted its first Friday night service and dinner at Mozambique Restaurant in Laguna Beach. Happy Anniversary to us!

Rabbi Louis Pollison wrote a thoughtful d'var Torah linking T"u b'Av with Parashat Vaethannan and this sacred year of sh'mitah.

Click here to enjoy.

As We Begin to Return and Remember… 
The journey between our two day-long annual fasts – Tisha b’Av and Yom Kippur – has begun, and with it, an opportunity to embrace the challenges in our lives and turn them into growth opportunities.  

“Hashiveinu Adonai Eilekhah v’nashuvah, hadesh yameinu k’kedem” 
Take us back, O LORD, to Yourself, and let us come back; Renew our days as of old! 

This well-known pasuk found at the end of chapter 5 in the Book of Lamentations that we chanted on Tisha b’Av offers an insightful window into a key component of the human condition. At the time of its composition, “Take us Back” referred to the city that was the dwelling place of God’s Name so that we could “Come Back” to worshipping God as in days of old. And yet, when we study the First Temple period (roughly 950-586 BCE) objectively, we are talking about centuries fraught with infighting, bloodshed and corruption. What about that time were the Babylonian exiles longing to recapture in the aftermath of the Temple's demise? 

The distinctive feature of any great piece of scriptural wisdom is that it speaks to the hearts and minds of those who hold it sacred in every generation. That is the eternal power of Torah: All readers – past, present and future - see themselves and their lives reflected in the text. This verse from Lamentations that we recite every time we put the Torah back into the ark highlights our natural inclination to long for earlier times that feel familiar, even if they were less than ideal. Generational memories often shed darker truths about a given time to elevate an idealized version of what was. It is a great coping skill. We know it’s not possible to truly return to what has passed. When we long for times gone by, we are actually expressing a deep desire to replicate the feelings we had during those times in our lives. 

On the occasion of his 100th birthday, TV icon, Norman Lear, wrote the following: “Those closest to me know that I try to stay forward-focused. Two of my favorite words are “over” and “next.” It’s an attitude that has served me well through a long life of ups and downs, along with a deeply felt appreciation for the absurdity of the human condition.” I understand Lear’s wisdom this way: No matter when a person lives on the historical timeline, there will always be elements of a time gone by that can never be recaptured and that will always be missed. At the same time, there is always new information to learn, understand and utilize to enrich the here and now. Most importantly, history has shown us time and time again that many of today’s blessings currently enriching our lives will likely create a chain of unanticipated challenges for future generations to wrestle with as they nostalgically express longing for a time when these blessings were enjoyed in innocence. 

Every human being is a world unto themselves. We have family lore passed on to us as children. We are a collection of all the personal struggles and triumphs experienced in infancy, childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, and so on… At this time of year, as we begin to focus on t’shuvah - returning to ourselves and to God - it may be helpful to embrace Lear’s suggestion of “over” and “next.” Trying to hold on to that which is over leads to unresolved regret. Embracing the potential of what is before us today helps us live in the present and look forward to tomorrow.   

“Yameinu k’kedem – the days of old” that we long to return to are the here and now. We each come to every High Holiday season as a collection of historical and personal memories that shape the life choices we make at every stage of development. Reconciling the challenges of the past - from yesterday, last year, a decade ago or even longer - is an essential step in the process of “returning” to our purest selves and to God.  

I wish you all a meaningful seven-week journey toward a blessed new year.

Shabbat Shalom and T"u b'Av Sameah,

Rabbi Marcia Tilchin 

The Jewish Collaborative of Orange County is a creative, collaborative, and compassionate community mosaic dedicated to innovating and supporting local and national programming that enriches the landscape of Jewish life and encouraging individuals and families to connect their passions and purpose with Judaism.